Rough, but Promising
Really nice animation, very avant garde and challenging. Some of the scribbly bits I didn't care for, but most of the piece (and I mean like 97%) was really excellent work. Need to work on your audio alignment, as the music ended for me just as we reached "Extreme Happiness" which was a shame, because some of the best stuff happened after that. I liked your titles. Very fresh. Good use of colour too.
FINISH IT!!!! PLEASE!!!!
all of a sudden I'm looking off at the sky listening to these two people rambling..
Oh, and see if you can boost the sound a little.. Jeremy is a little hard to hear.
wow! look! (-c)locks with style!
that was neefty. Wow.. I actually enjoyed that. I usually don't enjoy clock-crew-type things.. because they're so guttery or stupid.. but this was was kinda neat. I liked the music.
Though I did expect the gun shop guy to start going on a rampage.
Yeah, those kind of C/Lock movies aren't really too entertaining. Random guns! IM A FAGGOT!! Ehem... anyways thanks for the review!
-Sandman0277
Thanks for the review (im running out of ideas)
-BlackcherryLock
Halfy halfy half half half halfy half
"Awful, pointless, no humor, annoying song that was probably thought up while sitting on the can."
... which for some unknowable reason, made it awesome!
if pube muppets made clock crew movies...
this would be what it would look like. You know, I'm not a superhuge fan of the clock crew, but there have been a number of charming little projects from them. The pube muppets on the other hand, seem to indulge repeatedly in this sort of humour... perhaps you're missing your calling?
The Promise
Yes, I liked it.. it has promise, your work could be much, MUCH better.. with very little effort.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take 2 months to redo this film.
1. Characters that aren't sticks. Each character should be an individual. Someone with a face, and an expression, and eyes so we can see what they're looking at, etc.
2. Voices. You can do better than foamy.. lower pitches, etc. Frankly, some of the best flash toons just have one or two people doing "funny voices" you know, you did them in grade school.. give us a funny accent, or something. Make sure the characters sound different from one another.
3. Make the box legible.. use a stencil font, something really old-school and basic. something everyone knows how to read. US ARMY STENCIL is a great example.
4. Timing. Sit for like a day, when you've completely drawn it all out.. spend a saturday adding one frame, then one more frame, then one less.. to that moment between "oh god he's going to shoot himself" and "bang".. milk that scene for everything it's worth.. but don't give us one frame more than we need. 2.5 seconds is my guess. and-one-and-two-and-BANG!
Your use of the added scene is perfect. Perhaps using a fake out-take.. where the guy is holding the gun, and starts crying.. "I can't do it" and both characters start laughing, then the director yells "cut!" (beep)
just a thoutght.
Seriously.. in comedy, it's 99% timing. Even stick figures and illegible boxes and difficult to understand voices can be covered-up-for by perfect timing.
But you're on an excellent track, and you have a great gag here.
Some people don't get it
First off.. I think it's an excellent parody of DDR type games. If you wanted to make it even "more parodyish".. make the arrows do impossible things, like 3 and four button combos, faster than humanly possible, etc
Secondly, I think the "communist propaganda" days are a bit behind us now. I think perhaps using other "subtle mind control" messages might be funnier, and more "understandable" by today's post-cold-war audiences. Perhaps it might also be useful to spend more time with the screen.. you know, showing us more weird images.. cows being slaughtered, in-utero ultrasounds of fetuses, pretty much any single frame from the last 20 minutes of 2001: A Space Odessey, etc. Before finally leading up to your characters pointing out the weirdness. Perhaps you could use the film to make a political statement at this point, pro or anti Bush, or whatever you heart calls you too (anti-pope, or anti-osama, or whatever)...
it might make for a more powerful toon.
Oh, and I would take some time to animate the frantic player trying to keep up with the game, etc.. and the two spectators.. eally, this idea is worth better than stickfigures!
One of my highest reviews so far
okay here goes.
loved it.
This was great. simply great. One of the best falsh movies I've seen, and sad too.
I agree, the art is rough, but it was consistent, so that was good to see. Nothing looked "pasted in" or weird. the snow was a little odd, it could have been better with 2 or 3 layers of snow moving at different speeds, but really, who cares? it matched the art style perfectly.
a few oddities I kept wondering about.. how come the blonde was not wearing a helmet? Why was she out of uniform? was she a returning villager who was cast out in exile by the bearded guy? (her father?) I want to know the plot now! I'd also like to have had sound effects, but still quieter than the music.. fading to just music for the long pan-shot and death sequence as they left. it also sould have been really cool if you had made the film end closer to the music ending.. but that's an editing issue really. It also would have added weight if it was the blonde in the mech watching at the end.. maybe crying, who knows..
I have to agree with a previous reviewer, with a little more practice at drawing and such, your stuff is really going to kick @$$.
Can't wait for the next one!
(oh, and keep doing mecha stuff.. please!)
Thank you for the review. You'll have to play FF6 I suppose (or at least the beginning of it =P) to understand everything that's happening. Also, I'm sorry the song is kinda off with the movie when you watch it on newgrounds. The REAL file has perfect timing though ;)
oh yeah, and for all you that wanted sound effects, I considered putting them in several times, but the main reason I didn't is I didn't want to take away from the song. (lol, also I have been workin on this for a while and I was ready to be done with it)
Effort: 8
Okay, I'm 31.. and I was with the transformers from day one. I'm a big time, old school fan. So first off, I have to agree with the previous reviewer that "x isn't right because Y" etc. But I won't go into that petty nitpicking stuff.
where to even start? why did I rate it so low? Well.. being as big a fan of the original series as I have been, really anything less than "great" is going to get a low rating.
That aside however, the art.. as well intentioned and labour intensive as I'm sure it was.. was really rough. The really unfortunate part is, your rating wouldn't have been any worse if you had just inserted a bunch of old comic book scans and moved them around. And it's not like there isn't PLENTY of source art out there to trace or copy.
Your backstory I could look right past. It was all made up, and I could tell and just say "okay, whatever".
battleflicks aren't my favourite, so I'll leave that for others to judge. Your transformations were crude.. *AT BEST*.... and to be honest, maybe you should have just flashed from robot to vehicle mode. Megatron losing an arm in battle.. well I can't remember when I've ever seen a transformer lose an arm... much less leak molasses out of it.
plotwise.. it's a battleflick, so as far as I can tell, there wasn't any plot. The issue of galvatron just appearing.. is weird to me, and then unicron shows up in time to destroyy cybertron, the end. uhm... okay.
I guess the crux of my review is.. I don't hate you or anything, and I'm glad you tried.. but get about a year of practice under your belt, then try it again.
oh, and next time, draw a real decepticon logo, PLEASE?
Well, i thank you for the advice.I dint know much about transformers, so a battle flick was about all i could do. You said that you dont recall a transformer ever losing an arm in battle, but the episode when megatron tries to take over a city (for what ever reason) Optimus does indeed lose his arm. Yea, ill practice flash. Again,thanks for the advice.
yipes! run!!!
okay.. that was neat. a bit long.. but cool.
critique: the art seemed a little too simplistic for my tastes.. music was cool.. I'm afraid to see what you come up with if/when you draw frame by frame!
Age 51, Female
Student
Lane Community College
Eugene, OR
Joined on 9/19/04
AnExperimentWithEmotions 
Bob Makes A Friend 
Halfy The Christmas Shin 
Enter My Mind 
Box of stuff 
Dance Dance 
Death on the Snow Field 
Optimus Vs. Megatron 
Walk-Smash-Walk 